Goukanzai
by KawaiiChica
Summary: Kenshin´s changed, his attitude towards Kaoru´s become cold and rude. What would happen if by trying to protect her, Kenshin unwillingly pushes the woman he loves into a different kind of danger? What if she was hurt?
1. Chapter 1

Title: Goukanzai  
  
Author: KawaiiChica  
  
E-mail: KawaiiChica@hotmail.com  
  
Rating: R - strong language and adult content, but not too detailed. (Some but not a lemon)   
  
Disclaimer: Not mine.   
  
A/N: This story is not for the faint of heart and has nothing to do with my other R-K story. Some sappiness, but dealing with a very serious topic. I warned you so no flames please.   
  
" " Speaking  
[ ] Thoughts  
+++ Flashbacks  
  
  
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¨Himura, we need to talk.¨ Saitoh ignored the others as he entered the dojo.  
  
¨Konnichiwa to you too.¨ Sano replied for Kenshin, standing beside him as he did the laundry.  
  
¨Talk about what Saitoh-san?¨ Kenshin asked as he scrubbed.  
  
¨Not out here, think the tanuki girl will mind us going inside for a bit?¨ Saitoh took a smoke from his cigarrette.  
  
¨Whatever you have to say to Kenshin, you can say in front of us all.¨ Kaoru snapped from the dojo as she and Yahiko came out.  
  
¨This matter is not for weak women or children.¨ Saitoh gave her a bored glare.  
  
Kaoru gasped, Yahiko crying out an indignant ¨Hey!¨   
  
¨That´s enough, we will speak inside.¨ Kenshin cut off any more arguing as he stood and wiped his wet hands on his gi.   
  
Saitoh nodded, heading into the dojo ahead of Sano, Yahiko following them. Kaoru was about to go in when Kenshin´s hand on her arm stopped her. ¨Iie Kaoru-dono¨  
  
¨Nani?¨ Kaoru turned to face him, surprised by his words.  
  
¨Gomen nasai, demo, perhaps you should go see Megumi-dono at the clinic while sessha deals with Saitoh-san.¨ Kenshin pulled her towards the dojo doors.  
  
¨I don´t want to go see Megumi, I want to know what Saitoh wants.¨ Kaoru tried to pull away, surprised when his grip tightened.   
  
¨Iie Kaoru-dono, go with Megumi to the clinic.¨ Kenshin´s no-nonsense tone leaving no room for argument as they reached the doors and walked out.  
  
¨You can´t kick me out of my own dojo Kenshin!¨ Kaoru argued, still struggling against him.   
  
¨Listen Kaoru, I don´t want you here, just go away for a bit.¨ Kenshin let her go and turned back into the dojo, leaving a stunned Kaoru standing in the middle of the street.  
  
[Nani? You don´t want...] Kaoru stood there for a few moments wondering what he´d meant. When it suddenly started to rain, she snapped out of her worries and looked around for something to do or somewhere to go. [I don´t want to go to the clinic, or the Akebeko... I guess I´ll just walk around, this rain won´t last much longer anyways.]   
  
Walking down the path to the bridge, Kaoru wondered what he´d meant. [This isn´t the first time he says that he doesn´t want me nearby.] Over the past few weeks, Kenshin had begun pushing her away little by little.   
  
The first time had been about a month before.  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
  
¨Wait up Kenshin!¨ Kaoru ran out of the dojo after him.  
  
Turning slightly, Kenshin didn´t even smile his usual rurouni smile when she caught up. ¨Sessha was only going to buy some tofu Kaoru-dono, I can do that by myself.¨   
  
His harsh words stung her, but she decided to shrug them off, ¨Hai, but I need to stop by the Akebeko and pay off the tab we left last time we ate there.¨   
  
¨Sessha could do that as well,¨ Kenshin held out a hand for the money.  
  
Kaoru shook her head, ¨Its ok, I wanted to talk to Tae-san about one of her recipes.¨  
  
¨Great,¨ Kenshin mumbled under his breath, just barely loud enough for her to hear.   
  
Kaoru glanced at him through the corner of her eye, surprised by the tone in which he´d said it. [Kenshin never puts down my cooking attempts, even if the food is awful he still smiles and eats it. What could have happened? Is he tired of me?]   
  
After walking a bit in silence, she finally got up the nerve to ask him. ¨Kenshin?¨   
  
His voice sounded a little annoyed as he spoke, ¨Hai?¨   
  
[Doushite Kenshin?] Kaoru felt a lump start in her throat but spoke through it, ¨Is there something the matter? You seem a little...¨   
  
¨Nani?¨ Kenshin asked, bored.  
  
¨Distant,¨ Kaoru said softly, noticing the look on his face before he answered.  
  
¨Iie Kaoru-dono, sessha is just tired is all.¨ Kenshin moved the tofu basket from one hand to the other.  
  
¨Oh,¨ Kaoru walked along quietly for another few minutes, ¨Did you not sleep well?¨   
  
Kenshin sighed, ¨Iie Kaoru-dono, sessha slept just fine.¨   
  
¨Then...¨ Kaoru´s next question was cut off as they reached the Akebeko.  
  
¨If you finish with Tae-san before I finish my business go ahead without me.¨ Kenshin walked away towards the tofu stand.  
  
¨Hai,¨ Kaoru whispered to his retreating form. [Kenshin?]   
  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
  
  
Other incidents flashed through her thoughts, the most recent a couple days earlier, when Dr Genzai had been called out of Tokyo along with Megumi.  
  
  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
  
¨Ken-ii! Come play with us!¨ Ayame and Suzume cried as they ran circles around him and the laundry he was washing.  
  
¨Just let me finish these clothes,¨ Kenshin laughed, scrubbing quickly.  
  
Kaoru and Yahiko came out of the dojo arguing again, this time because Yahiko had invented a move of his own and hit Kaoru extremely hard. ¨I told you just the moves I´d taught you so far! It was only a sparring session Yahiko, if you kill me then who´ll teach you?¨   
  
¨Kenshin would,¨ Yahiko quickly answered, ¨Besides its just a small hit, you´re being such a baby!¨   
  
¨Actually that was pretty hard Yahiko,¨ Sano followed them out watching Kaoru carefully. ¨You sure you´re all right Jou-chan?¨  
  
Kaoru winced as she touched her ribs, ¨Hai, I think so.¨   
  
¨She´ll be fine,¨ Kenshin said, not looking away from the obi he was scrubbing.  
  
¨Nani?¨ Sano stared, surprised that Kenshin was being so non-chalant about it. [He usually freaks when anything happens to Kaoru.]  
  
Kaoru stared at him too, suddenly gasping in pain as the girls jumped at her. ¨Kaoru come play with us! Ken-ii´s taking too long with the laundry, we wanna go play now!¨   
  
¨Just give me...¨ Kaoru started.  
  
¨Iie, lets go,¨ Kenshin stood and walked over to them, ¨Kaoru-dono, you don´t mind finishing the laundry ne-?¨ He held out the obi he´d been washing.  
  
¨O-of course I don´t mind,¨ Kaoru took it from him and set it beside her, wrapping an arm around her ribs.  
  
¨Good, then let´s go!¨ He turned away and picked up the girls, heading out to the river with them.  
  
Kaoru dropped her arm and ran up beside him, ¨Kenshin why don´t I go with you guys? I can finish the laundry after playing for a bit.¨   
  
The girls wriggled in his arms happily, ¨Yeah! Playing with BOTH of you is even better!¨   
  
Kenshin shrugged, ¨If you really want to come, I don´t care either way.¨   
  
Kaoru stopped mid-step, stunned by the serious tone of his voice. [He really means that, he doesn´t care...] Feeling her heart drop, Kaoru stared at his back as he walked away, the little girls telling him to wait for her.   
  
¨Kaoru-dono can catch up if she wants to come.¨ Kenshin didn´t even glance back as he exited the dojo and was gone from their sight.  
  
Sano and Yahiko watched, as surprised as Kaoru by Kenshin´s attitude. Kaoru turned back towards the dojo, tears evident in her eyes. They watched quietly as she went back to where they stood and picked up the wet obi.   
  
Yahiko broke the silence, ¨Kaoru, daijabou?¨   
  
She nodded, whispering ¨Hai, I´m just gonna finish like he asked.¨   
  
She finished the laundry quietly, ignoring the pain in her ribs.  
  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
  
[Yahiko managed to slightly fracture two that time] Kaoru held her bandaged side as she walked through the rain, head staring blankly at the floor in front of her. [What´d I do Kenshin? Why the change?]   
  
She was snapped out of her thoughts as someone grabbed the back of her shirt and roughly threw her against a nearby wall. A thick arm pressed against her throat pinned her there as the crook´s free hand searched her clothes for any money.  
  
¨Let go of me!¨ Kaoru kicked out with her foot, hitting him hard in the thigh. Her hands scratched at his arm, trying to get it off her throat.   
  
Having been thrown into the shadows, she was unable to see her attacker´s face as he held her against the wall. Only the outline of his hair and large body was visible, his breath reeked of Sake when he talked. ¨You´re lucky that kick missed its target honey, you´d be real sorry if it hadn´t.¨   
  
¨Don´t worry, the next one won´t!¨ Kaoru lifted her other leg, intent on taking another try when his fist made contact with her stomach and knocked the air out of her, breaking her already fractured ribs.  
  
Hands clutching at her stomach, Kaoru took deep gasps of air as he released her throat and stepped back a bit, his arms clutching at her shoulders. ¨Since I see you have no money, you´ll have to provide me with some entertainment.¨   
  
[IIE!] Kaoru tried to scream as he threw her to the ground, quickly throwing himself over her.  
  
[I can´t fight him like this!] Kaoru opened her mouth to scream, her arms punching him in the chest with as much strength as she could muster, but he merely let his weight crush her and covered her mouth with his.   
  
She screamed, tears leaking out of her eyes as he held her head in place and kissed her. [Kami-sama help me! Kenshin! Kenshin Onegai! TASUKETE!]   
  
As he moved his mouth away and covered hers with one of his dirty hands, Kaoru frantically blinked against the rain, searching for something to use against him. Her left arm was trapped between them, but her right arm she managed to wiggle out as he concentrated on devouring her neck and fondling her with his free hand.   
  
When his hand reached the knot of her hakama, Kaoru couldn´t hold back a scream as he struggled with it, ripping it apart. He yanked at them, unable to pull them down he finally gave up and shoved her up, holding them in place so that suddenly she could feel the rough fabric of his pants against her thighs and hips.   
  
His hand moved from her to himself, ripping at his own pants in his hurry. Releasing himself, the guy laughed as she screamed, his hand forcing her legs open as much as possible. Moving his other hand off her mouth, he again lowered his mouth to hers, swallowing her scream when he slammed into her. Again and again, his hips slammed against hers, his mouth swallowing her screams. Finally he gave a loud moan and tensed over her, his seed spilling deep inside her.   
  
[Iie... Kenshin... doushite?]  
  
Kaoru lay beneath him her tears mixing with the rain still, mortified and ashamed that she hadn´t been able to save herself. As a carriage suddenly drove by the alley they lay in, Kaoru managed to glimpse a large rock a few inches from her free hand. Stretching as far out as possible, she fumbled with it for a bit, yelping as he started biting down her neck again, her fingertips trying to roll the rock closer.   
  
Finally after a few more attempts, the rock rolled close enough and she managed to get a good grip on it. Just as she raised her arm, she felt him hardening again and almost panicked before regaining her senses and hitting him as hard as she could with the rock.  
  
¨KUSO!¨ The guy reared back, cursing again as the rock slammed against the front of his face, breaking his nose. ¨YOU LITTLE...¨ but his words were cut off as Kaoru swung at him a couple more times, hitting him hard on the head, using her knees to kick against his chest.   
  
He managed to get in one good hit to her face, which stunned her momentarily, but not enough to stop her, she used both hands and slammed the rock against his head as hard as she could. With a grunt, the guy´s eyes rolled to the back of his head and his bloody body fell forward and almost back on top of her.  
  
Dropping the rock quickly, Kaoru pushed against him, dumping him off to her side. With her energy mostly depleted, her broken ribs aching terribly, it was all she could do not to lay back and hope someone would come save her. It took her a few attempts to stand before she managed to get up, pull her clothes together as much as possible and head home, her main priority to get back to the dojo.  
  
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Japanese Vocab:   
  
Tanuki - Racoon  
  
Nani - What  
  
sessha - Kenshin´s form of saying ¨me¨ or ¨I¨  
  
Gomen nasai - Polite way of apologizing  
  
-dono - polite suffix Kenshin uses to refer to Kaoru, like ¨Miss¨  
  
Busu - Yahiko´s nickname for Kaoru, means ¨ugly¨  
  
Hai - Yes  
  
Iie - No  
  
Doushite - Why  
  
Daijabou - Are you ok? / I´m fine  
  
Jou-chan - Sanosuke´s nickname for Kaoru  
  
Sake - A japanese liquor / alcoholic beverage  
  
Gi - Shirt used when training  
  
Hakama - Pants worn when training  
  
Kami-sama = Way of saying ´My God´ sort of like ´Good lord´  
  
Onegai = Please  
  
Tasukete - Help  
  
Kuso - Cuss word, ´Shit´ or ´Damn´   
  
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Gomen nasai, I DID warn you this was a serious fic. If I forgot a japanese word or gave a wrong definition, please correct me, I´m still barely learning the language. Arigatou!  
  
Please leave a review - tell me what you think, even if you don´t like it, just don´t be harsh or rude please.   
  
~ K.C. ~ 


	2. Chapter 2

Title: Goukanzai  
  
Author: KawaiiChica  
  
E-mail: KawaiiChica@hotmail.com  
  
Rating: R - strong language and adult content, but not too detailed. (Some but not a lemon scenario)   
  
Disclaimer: Not mine.   
  
A/N: This story is not for the faint of heart and has nothing to do with my other R-K story. Some sappiness, but dealing with a very serious topic. I warned you so no flames please.   
  
" " Speaking  
[ ] Thoughts  
+++ Flashbacks  
  
  
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
  
Meanwhile:   
  
Kenshin entered the room where Sano, Saitoh, and Yahiko waited, feeling awful about his behaviour towards Kaoru again.  
  
¨So what´s this about Saitoh?¨ Sano asked impatiently.  
  
The man said nothing, merely lit another cigarette, eyes on Kenshin, ¨You sure she´ll be all right? Its not over.¨  
  
¨So it wasn´t him?¨ Kenshin asked, ignoring the other´s questioning looks.  
  
Saitoh nodded, ¨Hai, and it doesn´t look like they´re giving up anytime soon. I´m still trying to find out who these men are and they´re reasons for wanting to kill you.¨   
  
¨Arigatou¨ Kenshin opened the shoji and frowed as he saw it had started raining.   
  
¨You think she listened to you?¨ Saitoh asked from where he sat.  
  
Kenshin shrugged, ¨Sessha´s not sure, Kaoru-dono is a grown woman, she does not have to listen to anyone.¨  
  
¨Its about time you realize it,¨ Saitoh mumbled under his breath.  
  
¨What is that supposed to mean?¨ Kenshin asked quietly.  
  
Saitoh shrugged, ¨You know, I may call her tanuki, put her down, criticize her, but I do respect Kamiya-san. She´s a woman who´s been on her own for a long time now, and has done one hell of a job taking care of herself. Reminds me of my wife Tokio.¨   
  
¨He´s right about that, Jou-chan is one tough cookie.¨ Sano spoke up, ¨But what´s this about someone wanting to kill you again, and why the heck didn´t I know about it Kenshin?¨   
  
Kenshin sighed and closed the shoji, coming forward to explain what had happened over the past month or so. ¨You see, it all started when I got this letter...¨   
  
  
: an hour later :  
  
  
¨... so you think they might try to use Kaoru to get to you?¨ Yahiko mumbled, scratching his head thoughtfully.  
  
¨Yeah, and to get the idea that she matters to you out of their heads, you act like a total jerk to poor, clueless, Jou-chan.¨ Sano finally understood Kenshin´s recent behaviour.  
  
¨If the men think she doesn´t matter to Himura, they´ll be less likely to harm her or try to kidnap her, so far its worked.¨ Saitoh continued.  
  
Kenshin nodded, ¨One of them attacked me yesterday while I walked back from buying tofu. We fought a bit, I knocked him unconcious, and Saitoh took him back to the station.¨  
  
¨I came today to inform Kenshin that the man killed himself overnight, his name is yet to be found.¨ Saitoh chewed on the end of his last cigarette.   
  
He continued, ¨From the level at which the threats came and the way he attacked, its pretty obvious we´re not dealing with amateurs. These men have had years to plan things out and have been pretty tough up until now.¨   
  
¨Aa, I see...¨ Sano looked at Kenshin, who kept glancing behind him at the door. ¨She´s probably with Fox at the clinic helping with the girls or a patient.¨  
  
The sound of the doors slamming against something cut him off and had the four of them on their feet the next instant. Sliding the shoji open, Yahiko looked out and squinted towards the shadowed entrance. Recognizing the color of the person´s hakama he quickly shoved it open and ran out, ¨Kaoru!¨   
  
Reaching the doors, they were astonished at the sight that greeted them. A drenched Kaoru lay there unconscious, her clothes filthy and askew, blood stains on them. The blue hakama had been apparently ripped open. Having fallen face-down, she was filthy with mud, her skin was deathly pale, a nasty bruise starting on her right cheekbone, and worse were the ugly red marks on her neck.  
  
Kenshin froze in shock as he stared down at her [Kaoru...]  
  
¨Kami-sama! Jou-chan!¨ Sano kneeled beside her and checked for a pulse.  
  
¨Kaoru!¨ Yahiko shook her shoulders.  
  
[No please! I thought I got away] Kaoru felt herself being shaken, someone was yelling at her. Her voice sounded terrified and extremely weak as she protested. ¨Onegai... Kenshin... tasukete...¨   
  
Kenshin kneeled beside her, tears mixing with the rain as he tried talking to calm her down, ¨Hai Kaoru, I´m here... shh... ochitsuku Kaoru-dono...¨  
  
Picking her up carefully, Kenshin held her close and headed into the dojo, Sano went with Yahiko for Megumi, while Saitoh helped Kenshin lay Kaoru down in her room.   
  
¨You can´t leave her in those clothes,¨ Saitoh opened a nearby youdansu and pulled out a clean nemaki. Turning to Kenshin, he handed it to him. ¨Here, change her into this.¨  
  
¨Oro?¨ Kenshin stared at the material in Saitoh´s hand.  
  
¨She´ll be worse if you leave her in those Himura.¨ Saitoh dropped the namaki beside Kenshin and walked out.   
  
Closing the shoji, he suddenly stopped, saying quietly, ¨Muzan, ne-?¨   
  
¨Nani?¨ Kenshin asked without turning away from her.  
  
¨You put her through all that to keep her safe, and look what happens to the little kimusume.¨ Without waiting for a reply, he stepped out and left the dojo.  
  
Kenshin kneeled beside her, hesitant to take her clothes off. [Gomen Kaoru-dono, but Saitoh is right.] He carefully began to remove her soaked clothing, making sure not to move her too much once he saw the bandages around her ribs. [Yahiko hit you that hard the other day?]   
  
His tears were still falling silently down his cheeks as he cleaned her up. [Gomen nasai Kaoru... this is all my fault...]  
  
After changing her into the nemaki, he picked up the wet items he´d taken off her and set them outside her room, relieved to see Sano and the others coming down the hallway.  
  
¨Ken-san how is she? What happened?¨ Megumi asked as she entered, gasping as she looked down at the girl on the futon.   
  
¨Goukanzai¨ she whispered sadly, ¨Poor Kaoru.¨  
  
¨Will she be all right?¨ Yahiko asked, coming closer to her.  
  
¨Hai, I just need to check for sure if...¨ Megumi didn´t finish the sentence, just asked them to leave the room. Tears formed in her eyes when Kenshin handed her the cloth he´d used to clean her with, confirming her earlier fear.  
  
She covered up Kaoru and was dismayed to feel a fever settling over her. [Poor Tanuki-chan, what were you doing out in the rain?] Getting to her feet, she asked Kenshin to watch over her while she went to prepare the herbs she´d need.  
  
¨How is she?¨ Kenshin asked.  
  
Megumi nodded sadly, ¨Physically all right, running a bit of a fever. Demo, I´m not sure about emotionally. Tanuki´s a tough girl but something like this could really affect her.¨  
  
¨Doushite?¨ Yahiko asked, glancing into her room.  
  
¨Think about it, Kaoru´s the shihondonai of the Kamiya Kashinn Ryu. Not being able to protect herself when she´s teaching you to protect others is a harsh blow.¨ Sanosuke explained, ¨Not to mention the fear and shame she must have felt when...¨   
  
A whimper interrupted him, focusing their attention on the fevered girl in the room. Kaoru´s flushed expression worried them all, Megumi went out to the kitchen, Sano went to help, Yahiko closed the shoji and moved up beside his sensei, and Kenshin sat opposite him, tears in his eyes as he wiped her forehead with her wet hair ribbon.  
  
Her breathing became rougher, face paling. At the feel of the cloth against her forehead, she whimpered and sighed, tears falling down the sides of her face. Kenshin and Yahiko exchanged worried looks as she seemed to get worse. Megumi came in with a foul smelling bowl with Sano a few steps behind holding another bowl and a small stack of cloths.  
  
They moved silently, Megumi taking Yahiko´s place, tending to Kaoru carefully. Kenshin helped hold her up as they re-bandaged her ribs and wiped down her face and arms with cool cloths. Megumi set another one with the foul-smelling water over her chest and rubbed her legs to bring down the fever.  
  
Sanosuke and Yahiko both stayed back and out of their way, worry evident in their eyes and features. Kenshin felt his heart break at each sound Kaoru made, her wimpers, her sighs, the sound of her shallow breathing were all agonizing.  
  
Half-way through the night, while Yahiko and Sano slept leaning against one another, Megumi dozed lightly beside her, and Kenshin once again wiped down her fevered forehead, Kaoru opened her eyes and looked up at him. ¨Ken...shin...¨  
  
¨Hai Kaoru-dono?¨ Kenshin sighed as he figured the fever was going away.  
  
Kaoru´s breathing worsened as the tears escaped her eyes and she closed them, ¨Onegai... tasukete...¨   
  
¨I´m here Kaoru-dono, you´re safe at home.¨ Kenshin whispered, holding her hand tightly against him.  
  
¨Iie... you... can´t be... ken... shin.¨ Kaoru protested weakly with her eyes still shut, sleep pulling at her.  
  
Kenshin frowned, confused by her statement. ¨Doushite?¨  
  
¨Because Kenshin... doesn´t... care about...¨ her next word was said in a pained sigh before she lost consciouness again, ¨Me.¨  
  
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
[Nani?] Kaoru moaned against the light in the room, blinking a couple of times.  
  
¨What happened?¨ she whispered, wincing as she tried to sit up.   
  
[I´m home]  
  
Taking in the familiar items in her room, she gave a relieved sigh, wiping her clammy forehead. Rubbing her sleepy eyes, she winced as she touched her right cheek. [Iie, it was just a bad dream!] Throwing off her blanket, Kaoru winced as she pulled her legs closer to stand. [It had to be a nightmare! It HAD to be!]  
  
Standing slowly, Kaoru took one step and dropped to the floor from the pain in her legs, ribs, and another certain area. [Iie!] She lay there frozen for a few moments, realization that it hadn´t been a nightmare sinking in.   
  
Suddenly the other´s came into her room. Sano was the first one there, since he had been standing closest. Opening the doors, he almost cringed at the sight of her, although better than before. Her skin had lost some of its paleness, the bruise was now a nasty purple on her cheekbone, her hair was loose, eyes watery but obviously unwilling to cry.  
  
¨Ohayo Jou-chan!¨ he greeted cheerfully. ¨Glad you´re fever´s gone down!¨   
  
¨Sanosuke...¨ Kaoru smiled at his efforts, staying where she was.  
  
¨Kaoru shouldn´t you be in bed?¨ Yahiko asked as he came in.  
  
Kaoru arched an eyebrow, ¨What? No busu? I´m sure I must look worse than usual.¨  
  
Yahiko sighed and shook his head, ¨Nah, you look nice as ever, you know I don´t mean that whole `busu´ thing.¨   
  
¨Right¨ Kaoru sighed, her legs too sore to move. ¨I can´t...¨  
  
¨Don´t worry about it,¨ Sano came over and helped her back into her futon.  
  
Kenshin came in and watched them, guilt tearing through him at the site of her. Looking up at the door, her voice was soft and unsure as she greeted him, ¨O-Ohayo Kenshin.¨  
  
¨Ohayo Kaoru-dono, ogenki desu ka?¨ He asked, coming in and sitting beside her feet.   
  
¨Genki desu,¨ she whispered, suddenly too ashamed to look at any of them, instead focusing on a spot behind Sano.   
  
As they sat in an awkward silence, Tae-san suddenly appeared in the doorway, the bowl of soup dropping to the floor as she saw Kaoru. ¨Kami-sama what happened to you?!¨   
  
¨Kaimu,¨ Kaoru replied in a shaky voice, keeping her gaze averted from the others. [I don´t need to see the disgust in their eyes]   
  
¨But Kaoru something must have happened!¨ Tae looked to the others,   
  
Yahiko and Sano were gaping at her, Kenshin looking on with an unreadable expression on his face.   
  
¨Hontoo, its nothing Tae-san, I had a bad night is all.¨ Kaoru shrugged and tried to sit up, smiling as much as she could. ¨What brings you to the dojo?¨   
  
Tae bowed her head, looking at the food she´d dropped. ¨Megumi-san asked me to bring you some soup. She said she had another emergency but that you needed to eat this.¨   
  
Looking down at the mess, she sighed and promised to come back with another bowl, heading into the kitchen to make some more.  
  
¨Arigatou¨ Kaoru pushed up further, flinching as her ribs started throbbing.  
  
¨Lay back Jou-chan, your body needs to heal.¨ Sano pulled her back carefully, making sure she was comfortable on the pillow.  
  
¨You should sleep Kaoru-dono,¨ Kenshin spoke softly, almost hesitantly.  
  
¨I don´t want to,¨ Kaoru sighed and looked up at Sano. ¨How long ago did Megumi-san leave?¨  
  
¨A few minutes,¨ he answered, looking down at her sadly, ¨She was needed by Dr Genzai.¨  
  
Kaoru frowned, ¨How long was she here? How long has it been?¨  
  
¨Three days,¨ Yahiko spoke up, holding a hand to her forehead. ¨You´ve had a really bad fever and kept crying and saying stuff and...¨  
  
Sanosuke´s glare made him stop as he pulled away, looking down into her clouded eyes. ¨Gomen.¨  
  
That brought Kaoru out of her thoughts, ¨For what Yahiko?¨  
  
He looked down in his lap uncertainly, ¨For babbling and for... what happened.¨  
  
Kaoru took his hand and smiled softly at him, ¨Its ok, I´m used to your babbling and... what happened wasn´t your fault.¨   
  
Yahiko nodded, glacing up at Kenshin coldy, ¨I know.¨  
  
Kaoru shook her head, ¨Iie Yahiko, its not...¨  
  
¨Don´t EVEN say it Kaoru! You´ve been nothing but kind to him and look at what he caused!¨ Yahiko said angrily, ¨Its HIS fault for throwing you out like that. I can´t believe he would do it...¨  
  
Kaoru held his hand tighter, ¨But you didn´t...¨  
  
¨Think anything serious about it since I thought Kenshin would never put you in danger, but he did, look at what happened to you because of him.¨ Yahiko´s anger suddenly died down as he looked down at her.  
  
¨I don´t know why I didn´t say something then, I thought it was kind of funny seeing busu being kicked out of her own dojo by her best friend for a moment, demo...¨ tears slid down his cheeks as his voice wavered, ¨I should have gone with you Kaoru, you´re teaching me to protect the innocent and I can´t even protect...¨  
  
Kaoru shook her head and pulled him down beside her, pulling his head onto her chest above her ribs, her hand stroking through his hair soothingly. ¨You couldn´t have known Yahiko... I´m a big busu girl, I can...¨  
  
¨You´re not ugly,¨ he mumbled through his tears.  
  
¨Ok then, I´m a big girl who should have been able to defend herself.¨ Kaoru said, crying now too. ¨Gomen nasai for putting you through this guilt Yahiko... gomen nasai...¨   
  
¨Stop it!¨ Sanosuke yelled, ¨I can´t believe you´re apologizing to us Kaoru! Its not your fault! None of it is!¨   
  
Kenshin finally spoke up, ¨Iie... its mine.¨   
  
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Japanese Vocab.  
  
Tanuki - Racoon  
  
Ochitsuku - Calm down  
  
Youdansu - chest with drawers, like a dresser  
  
Nemaki - Nightgown, PJ´s. sleepware  
  
Muzan - Pity, Sad, - like saying ´what a shame´  
  
Kimusume - Innocent  
  
Goukanzai - Rape  
  
Shihondonai - Head teacher, Master (I think)  
  
Ogenki desu ka? - How are you?  
  
Genki desu - Fine thanks, ok, good  
  
Kaimu - Nothing  
  
Hontoo - Really  
  
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Gomen nasai its so short, I promise the next chapter will be longer and won´t take quite so long. Arigatou to my reviewers!  
  
~ K.C. ~ 


	3. Chapter 5

Title: Goukanzai  
  
Author: KawaiiChica  
  
E-mail: KawaiiChica@hotmail.com  
  
Rating: R   
  
Disclaimer: Not mine   
" " Speaking  
[ ] Thoughts  
+++ Flashbacks  
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
"Are you sure this isn`t a problem? I`m really sorry about..." Kaoru stopped as Enishi helped her into the carriage.  
  
"Of course it isn`t, we`ll still have a great time, probably better," Enishi grinned and took a seat across from her.   
  
"Are we really going all the way to Yokohama?" Suzume asked excitedly.  
  
Enishi nodded, "Yes we are, and I`m taking you to the finest restaurant once we get there."   
  
Suzume gave an unsure nod and looked out the window at the houses going by, "I`m not sure you should take us to the FINEST restaurant, what if I spill something?"  
  
Kaoru smiled at the little girl`s worry, "I`m sure you won`t, and even if you did, it`d be ok."  
  
She turned forward and blushed as she realized Enishi`s gaze was on her. [I wonder what he`s thinking?]   
  
"Arigato again for the invitation it was very..."   
  
"None of that, I told you I wanted to know everything about you and this is the best way to learn." Enishi interrupted her.  
  
"You like Kaoru don`t you?" Suzume smiled.  
  
"Suzume!" Kaoru blushed and gave her a warning look.  
  
The little girl looked up at her quizically, "What? Its obvious that he does, he`s taking you to Yokohama for lunch and let you bring me with you and..."  
  
Enishi laughed and gave her an honest smile, "Yes I do, as a matter of fact, quite a bit."   
  
The tender look in his eyes as he met Kaoru`s gaze again caused her to blush and look away. "And since I happen to like you quite a bit, I`ll share a little secret with you Suzume."  
  
"Nani?!" Suzume`s eyes lit up expectantly as she jumped from her seat to his side.   
  
Kaoru turned her head away, watching out of the corner of her eye as Enishi bent down to whisper something into Suzume`s ear. The little girl`s eyes widened and looked at Kaoru in surprise. "HER?"  
  
"Yes, but you must promise not to tell," Enishi held up a pinkie and taught her how to loop hers with his, closing the deal with a firm shake.  
  
"But that`s not fair!" Kaoru whined and pouted.  
  
[Damn those lips!] Enishi tried not to focus on them as the carriage stopped. Stepping out onto the train platform, he escorted them to his private car.   
  
"Your own car? Oh kami," Kaoru looked around at the exquisite furnishings around them with wide eyes. In the first half, where she was standing, there was a finely carved western living room set, consisting of a mohagany loveseat, sofa, and comfortable chairs around a coffee table, where a tea set was waiting for them with small cookies. At the other end of the car was a long table with a green rug over the top and six holes in it, one at each corner and two in the middle of the longer sides.  
  
"What`s that for?" Suzume asked, running over to find colorful balls in the holes.  
  
"Suzume be careful with that," Kaoru stepped forward to follow her, but was stopped by Enishi taking hold of her elbow.  
  
"Its ok, she can`t hurt them," he called Suzume over, promising to teach her how to play if she came to sit with them until the train was out of the station.  
  
"Ok," Suzume came over and sat by the window to watch the train depart. Kaoru and Enishi drank a cup of tea while waiting.  
  
Once they were on their way, Enishi stood and invited them both over to explain the game. "This is called a billiard table, the rules of the game are simple..."  
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
"You baka! How could you have let her go with a complete stranger?" Sanosuke yelled at Kenshin for the tenth time that morning, grinding his feeth furiously on the fishbone in his mouth.  
  
"Sessha cannot afford to be on Kaoru`s bad side again Sanosuke, if sesssha said she couldn`t go she`d be even angrier than she is with sessha." Kenshin sighed and scrubbed harder against the kimono in his hands.  
  
"If I hadn`t stayed out so late last night I could have followed them," Sano sighed and kicked a pebble at his feet.  
  
"Get over it Sano, busu can take care of herself," Yahiko yawned, stretching while he stood from the freshly cleaned floor. "Besides, she`s got Suzume with her to act as a chaperone."  
  
"Great chaperone, a five year old who`s distracted when a butterfly goes by," Sanosuke muttered.  
  
"Well even a five year old is better than nothing," Yahiko replied, "Not to mention the fact that the kid`s smarter than you give her credit for, and I know firsthand how good she is at getting information out of people."  
  
Sanosuke laughed, "That`s right! I`d forgotten she was the one who got you to admit you liked Tsubame."  
  
"Yeah, yeah," Yahiko muttered, frowning while he shrugged and walked out of the dojo, "I`ll be at the Akebeko!"  
  
Kenshin nodded and lifted the kimono out of the water, setting it to dry, he sighed, remembering the last time Kaoru had worn it. [The day before she was hurt, when we went to dinner at the Akebeko and had such a good time] He thought back to her sweet blush that night when Megumi said something in her ear and the shy look she gave him. [If only...]  
  
"Kenshin was it just me or did you get a weird vibe from that guy yesterday?" Sanosuke brought him out of his thoughts.  
  
"You`re really worried about her ne-?" Kenshin asked, suddenly wondering about his friends feelings for Kaoru.  
  
"Hai," Sano sat on the porch, hoping they wouldn`t come home too late. [Kami, let my intuition be wrong for once. I don`t think Jou-chan can take another dissapointment right now]  
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
"That was so yummy!" Suzume smiled, taking hold of Enishi`s hand, her voice was whistful when she continued, "Are we going back now?"  
  
Enishi inwardly smiled, putting on a thoughtful expression, "Hmm... I don`t know what else we could do..."  
  
"Take a picture!" Suzume pointed at a nearby photographer.  
  
"Suzume, Enishi`s a busy person, maybe he needs to be back in Tokyo by a certain hour," Kaoru cut in.  
  
"Iie Kaoru, I have all day," Enishi looked at her and unthinkingly lifted a hand to push back a loose strand of her hair.  
  
Suzume watched quietly, realizing something was going between the two adults. [She CAN`T be falling in love with him! She`s supposed to love Ken-ii!]  
  
Realizing what he`d done, Enishi lowered his hand and took hold of hers, "How about that picture?"  
  
[What just happened?] Kaoru absently agreed, wondering about the strange tingle she`d felt when he fixed her hair. [Am I attracted to him? How can I be when I hardly know him and I`m still in love with Kenshin?] At the touch of his hand, she felt a warmth spread through her body and sighed quietly. [What is it about you?] She asked in silence as he led her to the booth.  
  
They took the picture and were told to go back to pick it up in an hour. With nothing to do, they set about walking around Yokohama, window shopping and looking at the western style clothes and shoes.   
  
"What a pretty dress!" Suzume looked at a cream colored dress longingly.  
  
Enishi noticed and spoke up, "If you promise to let me take you to lunch some other day back in Tokyo, you can have it."  
  
"Hai?!" Suzume beamed and quickly promised to eat with him.  
  
"Are you sure about this?" Kaoru asked, following him into the store.  
  
"Hai, and do you know her sister`s size? I was thinking we should get her one too, since she had to stay home sick and all." Enishi followed Suzume and quickly chose both dresses, along with some hair bows, stockings, bloomers, and shoes.  
  
"Wow! This is so amazing, where have you been all our lives?" Suzume asked, watching the men take their packages out to a waiting carriage.  
  
Enishi chuckled and lifted his eyes from Suzume to Kaoru. She stood in a corner of the store uncertainly, her hands primly held in front of her, worry obvious in her eyes as she seemed to count the packages, her lips moving softly. Leaving Suzume to pick out a couple of dolls, he walked over to Kaoru and leaned on the wall beside her.  
  
"They`re just gifts Kaoru," he said with a grin.   
  
"They`re wonderful Enishi, I know its easy for you to do this for them but I`m just worried that they`ll get attatched to you and then you`ll leave." Kaoru kept her eyes locked with his as she spoke, "They`ve already lost a lot and would be crushed if you leave suddenly."  
  
"Why would I leave?" he asked softly, "What if I stay?"  
  
"In Tokyo?" Kaoru replied, "After all the travels you`ve been telling us about?"  
  
"A man gets tired of silly adventures after a time," he stood straightly as he spoke, "There comes a time when he wants more substancial things than making money or seeing new places."  
  
Kaoru looked uncertain, "Really? Like what?"  
  
"Like someone to care for him, to share his problems and achievements, give him encouragement when he feels let down or to simply..."   
  
"Simply?"  
  
Enishi gulped before continuing, "...love him."  
  
Kaoru nodded, understanding exactly how he felt. [Why can`t Kenshin feel that way?] So caught up in her thougts that she didn`t read the emotions in his eyes as he watched her.  
  
Enishi studied her face, her innocent eyes, reading the longing and pain in them. [They`re so expressive, I can tell everything she`s feeling just by watching her.] He suddenly felt the urge to see if he could erase the pain he saw and was surprised by the feelings the girl was causing him.   
  
"Kaoru..." Enishi began and was cut off as Suzume joined them.  
  
"These two, they`re the prettiest I think," she showed them the two dolls she`d chosen.  
  
"Great," Enishi followed her to pay for them and they left.  
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
"Arigato once again and it was a pleasure to meet you Takeuchi-san," Dr Genzai walked them to the door and waved as they left.  
  
Kaoru sighed once the door was closed and smiled at Enishi, "Arigato for the great day, I really enjoyed myself."  
  
"Doo itashimashite, I had a good time too," Enishi was about to help her into the carriage, surprised to see her shake her head.  
  
"I would really prefer to walk home if you don`t mind, its only a few streets away and I`d like to enjoy the sunset."  
  
"Certainly, if you`re sure that`s what you want, I could walk with you." he quickly offered.  
  
Kaoru thought about it for a second, thinking it would be rude to say no, "All right."  
  
She waited for him to explain to his coachman that they would be walking to her home and was surprised when he was handed a medium sized package before they left. They walked in silence for a bit, following the riverbend and watching the sun set over the tops of the houses.   
  
[What is it about her? I can`t figure out what I feel when I`m near her, my heart skips a beat when she smiles, I get that funny feeling when she laughs.] He turned to look at her profile for a moment, [She was just supposed to be a pawn - damnit I can`t afford to fall for her!]   
  
Kaoru felt his gaze on her and turned to see him watching her again. [Why do I feel so comfortable with you? I can`t believe how much I enjoyed today.] She smiled shyly and suddenly realized where they were. [This is where Kenshin does his fishing... oh Kami - Kenshin!]  
  
She turned away abruptly, feeling suddenly as if she`d betrayed him. [How could I be thinking of Enishi when I know I still have feelings for Kenshin?] Her eyes suddenly clouded with tears as she thought of the two of them.  
  
She was brought out of her worries by his voice at her side, "What`s the matter?"   
  
Looking up into his eyes, Kaoru realized it must have looked a bit strange, her suddenly turning away and apologized, "Gomen nasai Enishi-san, I..."  
  
"-san?" he looked at her with a hurt expression, "That`s the first time all day you`ve used an honorific."  
  
"Gomen, I know, I didn`t mean... I mean..." Kaoru felt even worse at his expression and the tears in her eyes seemed about to spill, "Gomen nasai, sumimasen, I really enjoyed today but I`m not feeling so well, I need to go."   
  
She turned her head and hurried down the path, giving a small yelp when she was grabbed by the back of her shirt. Feeling herself being pulled back, Kaoru`s mind flashed to that night months ago.  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
Kaoru held her bandaged side as she walked through the rain, head staring blankly at the floor in front of her. [What´d I do Kenshin? Why the change?]   
  
She was snapped out of her thoughts as someone grabbed the back of her shirt and roughly threw her against a nearby wall.  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
"IIE!"   
startled by her scream Enishi let go and quickly stepped back, "Whoa! Kaoru calm down!"  
  
Falling to her knees, Kaoru sat and covered her face with her hands, struggling to calm down and get her body to stop trembling.  
  
"Jou-chan?!" a man`s voice yelled from the road and in a few moments the brown haired man Enishi had seen her with before was coming towards them and was kneeling beside her.  
  
"Jou-chan daijabou? Did he do anything? I swear if he did..." the guy glared at Enishi while wrapping protective arms around Kaoru.  
  
"Iie Sano, gomen nasai," Kaoru moved her hands away from her face and turned to apologize to Enishi. "Gomen nasai, this must seem so strange to you, I..."  
  
"Hai, but don`t worry about it," Enishi stepped back and gave an awkward smile, "I guess I`d better go, I`ll drop by sometime soon and maybe we can go for some tea or something."  
  
Kaoru nodded and watched with relief while he walked away. Letting Sanosuke help her stand up, she dusted off her kimono and sighed.  
  
"So what was that scream about?" he asked impatiently.  
  
"I don`t know, you see, I got a bit nervous and I tried to go home but he grabbed the back of my shirt and I remembered the other person who did that and... I just lost it." Kaoru wiped at her face to get rid of the few tears that had slipped from her eyes.  
  
"And why did he grab you like that? Jou-chan I`ve got a bad feeling about that guy, I really don`t think you should see him again." Sano kept an arm around her shoulders while they walked the rest of the way to the dojo.  
  
"I don`t know Sano, I really enjoyed today, its just that... I still haven`t gotten over it yet," Kaoru stopped outside the dojo and turned into him for a hug, "Sometimes I wonder if I`ll ever get over it."  
  
"You will Jou-chan... you will," Sano held her close for a moment before stepping back and opening the door for her.  
  
"Arigato Sano," Kaoru gave him a quick smile, wishing him a good night when he said he was going home.  
  
"Oyasuminasai Jou-chan," Sano closed the door behind her and turned towards the bridge. [Let`s see what I can find out about this Enishi guy...]  
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"So how was your day Busu? Did you have a good time?" Yahiko asked, watching Kaoru sit down on the front porch.  
  
"Hai," Kaoru sighed and leaned against one of the posts, "Oh and I got you something!"  
  
Reaching into her pocket, she pulled out a small bag and handed it to him. "I remembered how much you liked them last time we went."  
  
"Thanks," Yahiko opened it and was pleasantly surprised to find it contained western-style cookes. "Chocolate chip! Arigato gozaimasu!"  
  
"Doo itashimashite Yahiko, I just hope you don`t finish them all in one sitting," Kaoru watched him break off a piece of one and smile as he savored it.  
  
"Don`t worry, I won`t," he quickly closed the bag and stood, heading into his room to hide them before Sanosuke found out about them.  
  
While Kaoru watched him walk away, Kenshin came out of the bath and hesitated to join her on the porch.  
  
"Konban wa Kenshin," she greeted quietly.  
  
"Konban wa Kaoru-dono, how was your day?" he asked while walking up beside her.  
  
"Fun, Suzume had a wonderful time in Yokohama," Kaoru smiled, "She really enjoyed the trip."  
  
Kenshin nodded, "That`s good, and is Ayame better?"  
  
"Hai, Dr Genzai thanked me for watching Suzume and said Ayame should be up and about tomorrow. It seems she just caught a quick 24-hour bug."  
  
"Good," Kenshin stood uncertainly, wondering what else to say.  
  
They stayed where they were silently for a while, neither sure of what to talk about. Suddenly, Kaoru`s curiosity got the best of her and she asked about the matter that had been troubling her for months.   
  
"Are you tired Kenshin?"  
  
"Tired? I do not understand Kaoru-dono," Kenshin frowned slightly.  
  
"Of me, or the dojo... both maybe," her voice was much softer when she finished.  
  
[Nani?!] Kenshin blinked, shaking his head, "Iie Kaoru-dono, how could sessha be tired of the dojo?"  
  
Kaoru shrugged and looked down at her lap, "Well you lived for so long moving from place to place, I thought you might be tired of the monotany of living with here."  
  
Kenshin smiled a bit, "Iie Kaoru-dono, sessha`s not tired of being here."  
  
"Then were you mad at me?" Kaoru asked shakily, "That night, for being nosy about what Saitoh wanted?"  
  
"Iie, gomen nasai if sessha made you think that... Kaoru-dono..." Kenshin saw her chin trembling and felt a wave of guilt wash over him when he saw her teary eyes.  
  
"Then... why?" Kaoru asked softly, looking into his eyes, "I need to know, onegai."  
  
Kenshin gulped as a tear slipped down her cheek and struggled to keep his hand from wiping it away. [What do I say?... the truth I suppose...]  
  
After a few agonizingly long minutes, he finally answered, "To protect you."  
  
Kaoru looked at him, confusion written all over her face, "Protect me?"  
  
"Hai," Kenshin sat down across from her uncertainly.  
  
"Hontoo desu ka?" Kaoru`s expression became a bit angry, "Exactly how is throwing me into the street one rainy night a good way of protecting me?"   
  
Kenshin inwardly sighed, "You don`t understand Kaoru-dono, sessha can explain..."  
  
After he was done, Kaoru said nothing, quietly thinking things over. "So that`s why you were so mean all that time..."  
  
"Gomen nasai Kaoru-dono, sessha couldn`t stand being so rude, demo if it could keep you out of harms way..."  
  
"Oh yes, your tactics certainly kept me safe ne-?" Kaoru said sourly.  
  
"Kaoru-dono," Kenshin tried to calm her down as he saw her getting worked up again.  
  
"Don`t start Kenshin!" Kaoru stood, clenching her fists, "I can`t believe you couldn`t trust me before!"  
  
She turned and paced away before turning to face him again, "Do you have ANY idea how AWFUL I felt?! I was so confused about what I might have done to upset you and it turns out you had a problem and couldn`t tell me about it!"   
  
Her expression was accusing despite the tears coursing down her cheeks as she continued, "You SHOUlD have trusted us better, told us, we could have worked something out together. Why must you always push everybody away? Wait... no, you don`t push everyone away... just me."   
  
Kenshin felt his heart break again when her shoulders slumped at her words. He wondered what to say while she seemed to get a bit of control of herself. "You let Sano and Yahiko stay that night while you shoved me out the door... do you have any clue how it feels to be excluded by your best friends? To be left out of everything because you`re weaker?"  
  
"Kaoru-dono you`re not..."   
  
"Iie, I`m too tired to hear it," Kaoru wiped at her eyes, "I need to go to bed, oyasumi Kensin."  
  
"Kaoru-dono matte!" Kenshin jumped up and stopped her from entering her room, "Kaoru-dono, sessha does NOT think you`re weaker..."  
  
"Oh of course you don`t!"   
  
[Shimatta Himura, she`s never going to believe that!] "Kaoru-dono you`re one of the toughest people I know its just..."  
  
"Kenshin?"   
  
He stopped and waited for her to continue, "Stop trying to make me feel better, its not gonna work, you`re just making things worse."   
  
Kenshin sighed and moved out of her way, letting her into her room before speaking, "How CAN sessha make things better?"  
  
Kaoru`s teary eyes met his, her shoulders lifting helplessly, "I honestly... don`t have a clue."  
  
"Could you ever forgive me?" he asked, not realizing his breathing stop while he waited for an answer.  
  
After thinking for a moment, Kaoru shrugged, "I don`t know that either... I don`t think anyone`s ever hurt me this badly."   
  
"Kaoru-dono..."  
  
"Oyasuminasai Kenshin," Kaoru closed the shoji softly between them. Turning with a hand over her lips, she leaned against the frame and slowly slid down along it, raising her arms onto her knees and trying to cover her sobs by crying into them.  
  
On the other side of the door, Kenshin sat with his back against the frame, silently listening to her again. [Oh kami, will we ever get past this? Onegai, help me... help us]  
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Japanese Vocab.  
  
Doo itashimashite - You`re welcome  
  
Baka - Idiot/Jack ass/ curse word  
  
Oyasuminasai - Good night  
  
Hontoo desu ka? - Is that so?/Really?  
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I know, it was an extremely long wait for the chapter, gomen nasai. Writer`s block is really quite horrible. Anyways, hope you liked the chapter, and don´t forget to leave a review!  
  
Arigatou!  
~ K.C. ~ 


	4. Chapter 6

Title: Goukanzai  
  
Author: KawaiiChica  
  
E-mail: KawaiiChica@hotmail.com  
  
Rating: R   
  
Disclaimer: Not mine   
  
" " Speaking  
  
[ ] Thoughts  
  
+++ Flashbacks  
  
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
"No! No I´m not ready yet!"   
  
Kaoru let out a small scream as she felt the horse tense to jump, tightening her hold on Enishi´s waist. After they flew over the log and landed on the other side, she let out a relieved sigh and pinched him. "Get me off this thing now!"  
  
"Just a moment," Enishi laughed and urged the animal forward a few paces, stopping at the edge of the woods. Jumping off, he turned to see Kaoru clutching at the animal´s mane. With her hair askew, wide frightened eyes begging for help, she looked absolutely adorable sitting atop his black stallion.   
  
"Can I get down yet?" Kaoru begged, tightening her hold on the animal when it took a small side-step and neighed. "Please?"  
  
Enishi laughed, lifting his hands to her waist to pull her down. "You shouldn´t be afraid of him, he wouldn´t hurt a fly unless told to."  
  
"Great," Kaoru held onto his shoulders as he lowered her to the ground. "But he´s so big and dark."  
  
"I´ll have to take you riding more often," Enishi hesitated a moment when her feet touched the ground, not wanting to let go quite so soon. He was startled suddenly when his horse whinnied and came towards them, Kaoru let out a squeak and jumped into his arms, face buried into his shirt. "You´re really terrified of them aren´t you?"  
  
"Uh-huh," Kaoru looked up into his eyes, surprised at how close they were. Having been frightened by the horse, she hadn´t realized she was pressed up against Enishi´s side until that moment. A blush stained her cheeks and she slowly pulled away. "Gomen nasai for being such a coward, what did you want me to see?"  
  
"This," Enishi took her hand and led her down a small path away from his horse. "Be careful, there´s a small dip here."  
  
"Ok," Kaoru followed him furthur into the woods, copying his steps. They reached a pair of trees that were very close together, over a small edging in the ground where a small space was between the edge and a large rock wall. Jumping down before her, Enishi turned and lowered her beside him again, keeping a hand at her waist as he showed her the rock wall.   
  
"You brought me to see a rock?" Kaoru teased, arching an eyebrow quizically.  
  
"Oh yes, this is just SUCH an amazing rock that I thought you HAD to see it," Enishi replied dully. "Of course not, the suprise is inside."  
  
"Inside? How do we get...?" Kaoru watched him move some shrubs she hadn´t noticed before and a small dark opening appeared. "You want me to go in there?"  
  
"Yes, that´s why I told you not to wear one of your best kimonos today," Enishi kneeled and suddenly realized a problem. "Can you crawl in your kimono?"  
  
Kaoru bit her lip, "Well if I´d known we´d be getting THIS dirty I would have brought my hakama and gi, but I think I can manage to follow you."   
  
She watched him crawl on all fours into the opening and giggled, [He´s such a big child sometimes] Getting down onto her knees, she pulled up her kimono a bit to allow her to move better. Making her way through the small space behind him, she was relieved to see a bit of light not far ahead from the entranceway. Halfway through the small tunnel, she gave a slight gasp as she felt a small pain in her leg.  
  
"Are you all right?" Enishi asked, coming out of the tunnel and turning to help her. Reaching into the small space, he waited a second until she could reach his hand and took hold of her arm, pulling her out carefully so as not to hurt her. Without thinking, he set her down in front of him, sitting with her back slightly leaning on his chest.   
  
"I cut my leg, " Kaoru looked at the small gash that had been made on her kimono a small bloodstain forming aournd it.   
  
"You´ll have to clean it up," Enishi took her into his arms and stood, heading over to another side of the cavern they were in.   
  
Kaoru finally looked around and noticed the walls were dark, a small hole in the ceiling letting in the light she´d seen. She was surprised when he set her down on a flat rock and reached behind another for a container of water. "How did you find this place?"  
  
"Hiding from the police," Enishi shrugged, "I was a kid when my sister died so I had to surrive as best as I could, and sometimes that meant I´d have to borrow something without asking for permission."  
  
"In other words, you had to steal," Kaoru corrected, giving a sudden sigh, "That can´t have been easy for you, all alone and so little. It kind of reminds me of Yahiko, athough he´s not alone anymore."  
  
"He´s a lucky kid," Enishi smiled, "I wish I´d found someone as kind as you."  
  
Kaoru blushed and gave an uncomfortable little laugh, "Oh, I don´t know if he thinks so, sometimes I´m sure he´d rather go back to stealing than put up with me and my yelling at him."  
  
"No he wouldn´t, you don´t know because you´ve never been through it, but a boy like him doesn´t get any satisfaction out of his way of life. For every little thing he has to steal, a small grain of guilt adds to his conscience." Enishi shrugged again, "But anyways, you haven´t seen the best thing about this place."  
  
"What might that be?" Kaoru smiled, noticing the excitement in his eyes.  
  
"Just wait a moment, first we have to make sure you´re tended to," he smiled, removing his jacket and setting it down beside him. Reaching into his boot, he extracted a small knife, using it to cut off the sleeve of his shirt.  
  
"What are you doing?" Kaoru gaped.  
  
"Its as close to a clean bandage as we´re going to get right now, I used the ones I had here during my last visit." Enishi cut the sleeve into strips. Using a couple, he soaked them with the water and suddenly stopped.  
  
"Ano.... don´t take this inapropriately, but you´re going to have to show me your leg."  
  
"Nani?" Kaoru gaped  
  
"To clean your cut I have to be able to see it, don´t you think?" Enishi gave a small smile, "Would it help if I promise not to do anything you don´t approve of?"  
  
"I suppose," Kaoru cleared her throat and shifted uncomfortably for a second to move her kimono off a bit.  
  
[Kuso!] Enishi gulped, his mouth going dry as she slowly moved the material aside. Since the cut was on the side of her leg, she had to expose it completely for him to be able to tend to it. [Kami-sama…] Enishi fingers twitched as he watched her, itching to help her remove the kimono completely and quickly.   
  
Finally sitting with her leg completely uncovered, one hand holding her up and the other across her lap, Kaoru had no idea how tempting she looked, keeping her eyes modestly turned down and hoping he wouldn´t notice the embarrassed flush on her cheeks.   
  
But of course he noticed, for the past month he´d noticed every expression she´d made, every blush, every smile and every small frown or questioning glance. [Himura´s an idiot] Enishi gulped and kneeled beside her. His voice was thick as he spoke, "This might sting a little."   
  
Kaoru just nodded and bit her lip as he cleaned the blood up. His movements were quick and smooth, the cloth barely touching her skin. He finished quickly, tying a couple of strips of cloth around her leg to stop further bleeding and sat back, relieved when she immediately set her self aright.  
  
"Arigato," Kaoru gave a shy smile and looked away, "So what was that surprise?"  
  
"Ah, of course," Enishi grinned and turned to get something out from behind the rock again. "Close your eyes."  
  
"Why?" Kaoru listened as he shuffled through a few things.  
  
"To make the surprise better, just do it," Enishi made her face him with her eyes closed before standing and setting things up. "Ok now I´m going to help you stand but you still can´t open them."  
  
Kaoru giggled, "You´re so mysterious about this."  
  
"Yep," Enishi led her a few steps away from where she´d sat and turned her away from him. "Ok, open them."  
  
Hesitating for a second, Kaoru slowly opened one eye first, quickly opening both and blinking at the sight before her. Surrounding her and Enishi, in what had once been the damp and slightly gloomy cave was now a sparkling cavern, the walls covered in small but glowing colors. "Wow..."   
  
Enishi grinned, watching as she walked towards the walls and touched them softly. She turned bewildered eyes towards him, "They´re just rocks."  
  
"Yeah, although if you take one of them out in the sun you´ll see they´ve all got a glossy edge. It helps the light bounce off and create the colors when the sun goes through this," he pointed up to a crystal he´d hung in the opening of the room of the cave.  
  
"That´s so pretty!" Kaoru stared at the crystal suspended seemingly in the air.   
  
"Yeah, its pretty great," Enishi sat back down, leaning comfortably against the rock Kaoru had been sitting on.   
  
Kaoru kept walking around and touching the walls, suddenly standing beneath the crystal and spinning slowly. "This looks so neat!"   
  
Twirling faster, she finally lost her balance and made her way beside him, giggling happily. "I must seem so childish, but I hadn´t spun like that in AGES!" She sat by his side and sighed, "Arigato for sharing this place with me."  
  
"Doo itashimashite," Enishi smiled, watching her closely as she pulled her knees up in front of her and wrapped her arms around her legs, still smiling brightly at the colors on the walls.   
  
After a moment´s silence, he realized, "I´ve never shared the secret of the crystal with anyone before."  
  
Kaoru turned surprised eyes towards him, "Hontoo?"  
  
"Hai," Enishi nodded, thinking over the fact and what it meant. [I´ve been seeing so much of this girl… things are going wrong, this wasn´t supposed to happen… Takaeshi was right, I´m getting attached.] Looking down at her upturned face, he couldn´t help notice the feeling it gave him to see her smile.  
  
"I´m honored to be the first person to see it," she said and looked away after a moment.   
  
"I´m glad I showed it to you," Enishi inwardly smiled, knowing it to be true.  
  
For her part, Kaoru was thinking about what it meant to have been brought there by him. [I´m the first person he shows this to? Why me? What is going on with us?] She kept her eyes forward, feeling him watching her and continued. [I´ve seen him nearly every day for weeks, and each time we have more and more fun. He´s tall, handsome, interesting, funny, charming… could I be falling for him maybe? But what about Kenshin?]  
  
The ex-rurouni hadn´t said anything to her about her outings with Enishi, merely kept about his chores and waving when she left. [He´s always so calm about everything, its like he doesn´t care that I´m going out with another guy!] Thinking things over, she realized the ones who were still bothered by her outings were Yahiko and Sano.   
  
"Oh no," she suddenly whispered, "I promised to have lunch at home today."   
  
"Nani?" Enishi was snapped out of his thoughts, standing beside her as she did.  
  
"I have to go home, they´re going to be so mad!" Kaoru took one last look around before heading towards the opening. Not waiting while Enishi put the crystal away, she crawled out and stood in the small space between the rock and the trees realizing suddenly that the edge to get back up was as high as her shoulders.   
  
"Great," with a sigh, she stepped up and grabbed onto a couple of thick roots coming out of the ground, trying to pull herself up. [Damned kimono!]   
  
Just as she heard Enishi coming, she heard a pair of footsteps coming from somewhere nearby and froze when a pair of boots appeared before her. "Now isn´t this a lovely surprise?"  
  
Looking up the length of the legs before her, past a black gi, and a grey hakama, was one of the most hideous men she´d seen since the troubles with Shishio. Having been caught off guard, she was only able to gap for the seconds he was in front of her and was shocked by his quickness as he jumped down and yanked her down, pinning her against the rock.   
  
"What are you doing way out here and all alone?" the stranger sneered, his scarred face close to hers.  
  
"Nothing!" Kaoru yelled, feeling tears well in her eyes and her body begin to tremble. [Enishi where are you?]  
  
"Don´t you know you shouldn´t be out alone so far from home?" the man chuckled, tightening his hold on her arms.   
  
Just as he was moving towards her, he stopped, freezing as he felt a cold tip at his neck. "Whoever said she was alone?" Enishi appeared from beside them, moving the edge of his sword slowly across the man´s neck. "Get your hands off her."  
  
"Sure," the guy gulped and let her go, raising his hands as he backed away. "Hey it was only a little..."   
  
He swerved suddenly, moving away from Enishi´s blade and pulling out his own pair as he did. Kaoru bit her lip, pressing herself against the wall so´s not to get in their way if they were to fight. [This is such a small space and I can´t get out!]  
  
"Fun," the man jeered.  
  
"Fun´s over," Enishi saw Kaoru´s movements out of the corner of his eye and knew what she was thinking. [There´s nowhere for her to go in this cramped space.] "Look, I don´t want to fight you so how about you put those away and go?"  
  
"Sounds good," the stranger turned away for a second, taking a step as if he were leaving and suddenly turning and lashing out at Enishi.   
  
[Oh kami!] Kaoru tried to move out of their way as they fought. Enishi dodged one stroke of a sword and raised his at an angle, stabbing it through the guy´s right shoulder. The man yelled and stepped back, crushing Kaoru between himself and the wall again. A slight ´thud´ hitting the ground brought Enishi out of his concentration as he realized Kaoru had ducked to step out of the way again and had been behind the guy, only this time he fell against her so hard that her head was knocked into the rock too roughly and she was now unconscious on the ground.   
  
"Baka!" Enishi growled, pulling his sword out and quickly slashed him across the neck, ending the fight and pushing him away from Kaoru while he fell.  
  
"Kaoru!" He quickly put away his sword and kneeled beside her, turning her onto her back and wincing when he saw a large bump forming above her right temple. "Kaoru, wake up koishii, come on."   
  
Her breathing was slow and steady, as was her heartbeat. [I´ve got to get her to a doctor!] He lifted her onto the higher ground and quickly climbed up, taking her into his arms and whistling for his horse nearby. [Please wake up Kaoru]  
  
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"She forgot us again!" Yahiko complained while he closed the shoji of the room where Ayame and Suzume were taking a nap.  
  
"I´m sure she´s having a great time with that new buddy of hers!" Sano chewed his fishbone angrily. "And this baka doesn´t even seem worried about her!"   
  
"I am worried Sano, demo what can I say? That she cannot have other friends?" Kenshin replied, pulling a kimono out of the tub in front of him.   
  
"It doesn´t bother you that she´s going out with another guy?" Sano raised an eyebrow, "If I recall, she´s the only person you said good-bye to when you went to fight Shishio, she was the reason you won that fight and came back to Tokyo, AND she´s the one you look out for the most."   
  
"Leave him be, Kaoru´s just a little confused and needing something different for the moment but she´ll be back," Dr Genzai spoke, "The girl´s as hooked with Kensin as he is with her."  
  
"True," Yahiko nodded, "But she has been seeing A LOT of this other character lately, which can´t be good. Not to mention the fact that it was this baka´s fault she was hurt."  
  
"But she knows he meant well and she can..." Dr Genzai was cut off as the doors burts open, Enishi rushed in, a bloodied and unconscious Kaoru in his arms.  
  
"What the hell...?" Sano jumped up and rushed to his side.  
  
"Gomen nasai, she was attacked in the woods and hurt during a fight," Enishi was panting, his hair windblown and his eyes troubled.   
  
"Bring her into the clinic," Dr Genzai led the way, the others following closely, demanding explanations.  
  
"What do you mean SHE was attacked? You weren´t with her?!"  
  
"Enough! All of you out except Enishi while I examine her!" Dr Genzai ordered as she was set down on a futon carefully.   
  
"I don´t think so," Sano stubbornly crossed his arms and leaned against the wall. Kenshin said nothing, but made his way around the bed and sat beside her.  
  
"Very well," the doctor sighed and began to examine her, asking questions about how long she´d been unconscious and what had happened. Halfway through his explanation of what had happened, Kaoru gave a small moan and clasped her hand at her side, making a small fist.   
  
"Kaoru? Kaoru how are you feeling?" Dr Genzai spoke slowly and loudly.  
  
"Shhh..." Kaoru whimpered and tears slid out from her closed eyes, "Don´t yell, my head hurts horribly."  
  
"Gomen nasai," Dr Genzai touched the lump on her head, causing her to cry out and open her eyes.  
  
"OW!"   
  
"Gomen nasai," the doctor apologized again and was about to ask her some questions when she began to speak.  
  
"Did I die? No, when you´re dead its not supposed to hurt, but that space was so small and they were fighting and.... are you an angel?" she blinked, looking up at the blurry figures above her.   
  
"I hadn´t heard of angels until a while ago, I don´t remember who Kenshin fought with, but you don´t look like the angels they talked about. They were cristian you know and they had angels who were blond and blue eyed, but you have red hair and violet eyes like my Kenshin."  
  
[Her Kenshin?!] Enishi listened carefully, stung by her words...  
  
[My Kenshin? I like that.] Kenshin smiled, "You´re right, if you feel pain you can´t be dead so..."  
  
"No, I don´t want to die and leave him, not even for an angel who has his hair and eyes," Kaoru tried to raise her arm to touch her head and whimpered again, setting it down beside her, touching his knee slightly. "And what would Yahiko do? And my Sano? Who´ll feed them? None of them work and there won´t be anyone to take care of them except for Kenshin and what if he leaves?"  
  
Sano winced, touched by her worry but bothered by her mentioning it. Yahiko too, felt a pang of guilt as Kaoru worriedly mentioned him. Kenshin took hold of her hand to try to re-assure her. "You´re not dead Kaoru-dono."   
  
"-dono? Did you just call me Kaoru-dono? Only the baka Kenshin calls me that! OOOH I HATE that stupid honorific! You have NO idea! And he uses it with everyone! You´d think that if he just used it for me it´d be like a cute nickname but no, its general! He also calls Megumi-dono and you know she rubs that in when we´re alone." Kaoru closed her eyes, frowning and with her chin trembling.  
  
"I want to go home, my head hurts too bad to think," she sighed and looked up again sadly, "Why do angels look like everyone I used to know? You look like Kenshin and he looks like Enishi who was fighting when I died."  
  
"Why´s she rambling Doctor?" Yahiko asked.  
  
"Its from the hit in her head, things might be a bit mixed up for a little while but as long as she doesn´t fall asleep she should be fine." Dr Genzai assured them.  
  
Just as he mentioned sleeping, Kaoru gave a tired sigh and began to close her eyes, "Iie Kaoru, don´t fall asleep."  
  
"Doushite?" Kaoru asked sleepily, "I have a headache and I´m tired."   
  
She sighed and frowned, "And its a little cold."   
  
"Good, that´ll keep you awake," Enishi replied.  
  
She quirked her mouth slightly, "You´re definitely not an angel, they´re supposed to be nice and you won´t let me sleep."  
  
"What can we do to keep you awake Kaoru," Kenshin interrupted.   
  
"Hm," Kaoru shrugged and closed her eyes.  
  
"Don´t you listen Jou-chan? You´ve got to stay awake," Sano came closer and sat beside Kenshin. "Listen to my voice and keep awake ok?"  
  
"Sano?" Kaoru blinked and tried to focus on him, relieved the blurriness was going away, "Sano I was attacked again, he was horrible, scarred and dirty and he was gonna hurt me again, like that other guy and..."  
  
"Shh... you´re safe now Jou-chan." Sano tried to soothe her.  
  
"Hai, Enishi saved me," Kaoru gave a sad smile, things coming into focus. She could see the guilt in Kenshin´s eyes and knew what he was thinking. [Enishi saved her, but I didn´t]   
  
Dr Genzai came back into the room, having left to prepare a tea for Kaoru and asked how she was feeling. "A bit better, my vision isn´t blurry anymore, but my head still hurts."  
  
"That´s normal," he kneeled beside her again and asked Kenshin for help. "I need her to sit up."  
  
"Hai," Kenshin helped Kaoru sit up and watched as the doctor made her drink the tea little by little. She got halfway through the cup when suddenly she covered her mouth and squeaked.  
  
"Get that bowl!" Dr Genzai ordered Sano, who quickly grabbed the object he pointed at and handed it to him, frowning a bit as Kaoru lost both the tea and her lunch.   
  
"Gross! I´ll wait outside," Yahiko made a face and quickly left.  
  
Kaoru held her stomach as the moment passed, whimpering a bit while Kenshin wiped her face with a wet cloth and handed her some water to rinse her mouth with. "I feel awful."  
  
"I can imagine," Dr Genzai eyed her closely, a slight frown on his features. Setting the cup of tea beside him, he asked the guys to leave them so he could speak to Kaoru.  
  
"We´ll be right outside if you need anything," Enishi patted her hand with a re-assuring smile.  
  
"Arigato," Kaoru lay back and smiled at the three of them while they walked out. After the shoji closed behind them, she focused on Dr Genzai, who didn´t seem too pleased with something. "Nani desu ka? »  
  
"I just have a few questions for you, they won´t take long." Dr Genzai sat down beside her and began.  
  
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A few minutes later, while the guys waited quietly, Kaoru´s scream made them all jump and wonder what was wrong. Kenshin stood beside the shoji and asked carefully, "Is everything all right?"  
  
"Hai!" Kaoru answered, both she and Dr Genzai appearing in the doorway a moment later.  
  
"What are you doing up?" Yahiko asked, rushing over to her side.  
  
"I want to go home," Kaoru whispered, not meeting any of their eyes, keeping hers on the ground before her.   
  
"Is that all right?" Kenshin asked the doctor.  
  
He sighed and nodded, "Hai, but she probably won´t be able to walk over there with her headache."  
  
"That´s easily fixed," Sano came up and scooped her into his arms, "See you later Dr Genzai."   
  
"Kaoru?" Enishi stopped them at the door.  
  
"Gomen nasai," Kaoru apologized, tears in her eyes as she looked at him, "I really liked your surprise today, arigato gozaimasu for showing me."  
  
"Doo itashimashite," Enishi came up to her side and gave hr a kiss on the cheek, "And forgive me for letting this happen to you."  
  
"It wasn´t your fault," Kaoru waved good-bye, resting her cheek against Sano´s shoulder, careful of her aching temple.   
  
The walk home was silent, Yahiko and Kenshin following a feet steps behind. Sano kept glancing down at the silent girl in his arms, a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach as she kept sniffling and wiping her eyes. "What is it Jou-chan?"   
  
"Nothing," Kaoru sighed, relieved when they reached the dojo. Instead of going inside, she asked Sano to set her down beside a small tree in the yard.  
  
"Tell us, what´s wrong, we can´t help if we don´t know what the problem is." Sano sat in front of her, trying to force her to look into hus eyes.  
  
"I´d rather think about it for a while... try to figure things out on my own." Kaoru looked away, "Its my problem."  
  
"Kaoru, are you sick?" Yahiko asked, a slight catch in his voice as he watched her with worry evident in his eyes.   
  
"Come here," Kaoru patted the spot beside her and had him rest his head on her shoulder once he´d sat. "I´m kind of sick."  
  
"Kind of sick?" Yahiko tried to sit up, "How can you be kind of sick?"  
  
"I had guessed already what was wrong with me, I hoped I was wrong but..." Kaoru curled up and hugged him close, "I wasn´t."  
  
"What´s wrong Kaoru-dono? Like Sano said, we can´t help if we don´t know what the problem is." Kenshin spoke up.  
  
"This is something I have to figure out on my own though," Kaoru sighed and ran her hand through Yahiko´s hair. "How do you fel about Enishi?"  
  
"Nani?!"  
  
That got the three of them to worry, although Yahiko was the only one to answer. "Well... I can´t really give you an opinion about someone I don´t really know. I mean, he seems nice, the few times we´ve talked he´s been pretty friendly and Ayame and Suzume seem to like him a lot."   
  
He shrugged, "I dunno, what´s he got to do with your being sick?"  
  
Kaoru bit her lip, "I´m not sick."  
  
"But you just said..." Sano stopped.  
  
"There´s a difference ok?" Kaoru interrupted him, "I need to think about things for a while, could you guys leave me here?"  
  
"What the heck is it already?" Yahiko asked, sitting up and turning to face her. "What´s Enishi got to do with anything?"  
  
Kaoru remained silent for a few minutes, looking down at her lap before speaking, "Did I tell you that he´s proposed to me?"  
  
"Nani?!" Yahiko turned to see Kenshin´s reaction. The rurouni kept silent, his face devoid of any tell-tale sign of emotion. "You´re not going to accept are you?"  
  
"Shit Jou-chan! You can´t marry that baka !" Sano stuck his fishbone in his mouth and ground his teeth against it roughly.  
  
"I might have to," Kaoru hesitated a moment before looking up at both Sano and Kenshin. "You see... I´m not exactly SICK... its just that..."  
  
Kenshin blinked, the thought of what else might be wrong with her suddenly dawning on him as he remembered her symptoms from the last few days. Her lack of appetite, queasiness, how tired she´d ben feeling and even her sickness earlier the day before.   
  
[Morning sickness is associated with...] Her voice brought him out of his reverie, confirming his suspicions.  
  
"I´m pregnant."   
  
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*dodges flying objects*  
  
Cliffhanger!   
  
^.^ Hope you liked this chapter. I know it took me nearly a year to get it out but I had writer's block and then I moved and you know - life happens. I'm working on the next chapter already, but I'm not promising any dates on when it'll be out, just be sure it won't take another year ok?   
  
Gomen nasai once again to all of you who've reviewed and waited for this chapter, I hope it was worth it. Don't forget to leave a review so I know what you think! (I'm always open to comments or suggestions, often times a reader's suggestion will do wonders to help when dealing with a bad case of writer's block.)  
  
Thanks again and see you next time!  
  
~ K.C. ~ 


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